Politics...

So it's been a while since I last ranted!

So there's this big election next week, you may have heard of it, and there's a lot of talk everywhere about it. I happened to have a few spare moments, and thought i would look at random facebook groups, a passtime of myne because i enjoy laughing at what people have to say. You should try it some time!

Anyways, I saw one of my classmates here joined a group to the efect of "If McCain wins the election, I will wear black on Nov. 5."
I kind of chuckled to myself as i thought about how our uniforms are comprised of black shirts... Oh well.

I decided to click my way into the group, and on the discussion board, i found a funny topic.. "If McCain is elected I'm moving to Canada."

Sometimes i wonder if they are sober when they write these things. People replied with all sorts of things about where they wanted to move to and etc., and there was one knight who seemed to have been as amused as i was. He commented that most of the people were still in high school and couldnt vote... and were by transition relatively unable to move, even if they wanted to.
Unfortunately, when arguing with idiots, it is difficult to win.

Some people tried to put some clout to their moving by saying things like "I've even done some extensive research about moving!"

Wow.

Really?

Congratulations.

I guess I learned something today... If you research something, you are going to do it!
Sometimes I am convinced people should have filters on their computers that pull out coments like the ones made there and flash a message "ERROR: YOU'RE A MORON. PLEASE REVISE"

GLOBAL WARMING!!!! AHHHHHH!

So I was reading an article on CNN.com on the topic of global warming.

Evidently the polar bears are screwed up there.
I felt bad for the cute bears, so I decided to read the article.

Just some interesting points in the article...
They begin with saying how horrably the artic is melting, and then they say that even though the reports are getting better than last year, they're still worse...
Ok...

My favorite quote: "We are still losing the ice cover at a rate of 10 percent per decade now, and that is quite an increase from five years ago,"

Wait a minute... we've got a trend they are measuring by the decade... and their comparing it with information from 5 years ago... Does that make sense?
I'm not a doctor in any way, I'll be the first to admit it, but one thing I am is fairly sure that a decade is more than 5 years...

One last little bit for my pre-dinner rant...
They said that polar bears are resorting to canabalism because of the fix they're in. They very well may be, but their "documented report" of that is a bear breaking into another bears den and killing it.
Hmm.
I thought canabalism involved dinner...
Oh well, still not a doctor.

In the News...

Well I suppose it makes sense that an academy preparing leaders to do... whatever the hell leaders do... would require its students to follow the news somewhat studiously.

Unpredicted Benefit #1: I actually have a fair idea of what is going on in the world...

Unpredicted Benefit #2: I have a very large quantity of new things to rant about.

Just some little things today...

A CNN partner article about a new inflatable bridge system taught me a lot. Essentially they "invented" the pontoon bridge...
"...[the bridge] can be used during wars and in combat..."
I think I read elsewhere it can also be used in battle.
After they bragged about its combat/war readiness, they said the bridge could be put up in merely three hours!
Now that is combat speed.
Right.

At optional dinners here, they play the news or random television, and i caught the tail end of a news report about a awful murder in New York City.
I don't really recall many of the details of the crime, but something that stuck with me was the way they ended the report.
As they show a cat in a carrier, the reporters talk about how its such a pity that the cat doesn't have a home any more, and the "worst part" is that the cat may have witnessed what happened to its owners.

After pausing to make sure I hadn't begun ranting aloud, I couldn't help but wonder how after giving a report about two people who had been murdered, the cat's feelings are the closer to the article.

Wow...

Really?

The first really good day after Cadet Basic Training was A-Day. A-Day, or Acceptance Day (Acceptance is what the "A" stands for in case any of you aspiring Einsteins were wondering) is when the incoming freshman class move up from being the worm crap underneath the metaphorical totem pole all the way up to the moss on the bottom of the totem pole.

Families come up, and the entire class is, in general, pretty pumped about getting promoted from New Cadet to Cadet Private. ...hooah... (Sarcastic motivation, hooah?)

As great as that weekend is, the newly promoted privates are restricted to a 5 mile radius around the academy, and cannot cross the Hudson River.

Fortunately there is a city that is in that circle, and it has a few restaurants! Woohoo!

I was walking down the main drag of the town when we spotted this...
(I don't feel like elaborating so I hope you can fill in some of the ranting yourself)

I was somewhat worried about the food at the restaurant when I read the window... A very informative window too... Why hell, they have Beer, Lunch & Dinner, Kids Under 10 Years of Age, and an All you can eat Buffet!

Tasty.

Ranting in New York: 1st Edition

Ok.
It's been a while!
Now I know that recently the quality of my rants has been sinking, but I've had a couple months to find new interesting things to complain about. Woo.

In case you were unaware, this rant is coming straight from West Point. Best and brightest, hooah?
...Ha ha... Hooah...

It will probably become obvious that my rants become more military oriented, mostly because that is what I am surrounded by. If that's not cool with you, I present you with my most sincere not giving a damn.

Anyways!
Lets discuss stupidity for a little while. I've always found that to be a pleasant topic.

Knowing that most of the three people who ever read this will probably have no idea what "Laundry Duties" are, I will forgo the whole "In case you don't know what this is..." sentence, even though I pretty much wrote it all out here, and just tell you.
Laundry duties are when all of the laundry comes back from the laundry place either on hangers or wrapped up in bundles.
All of the laundry goes to a lucky plebe's (freshman's) room, and all the plebes in the company gather to distribute the laundry to the upper class men.
Small details: The laundry has to be delivered in a very specific order, the people carrying the laundry have to know pretty much every detail of the destination, and upperclassmen are waiting outside the door ready to break the little plebe down to tears.

Our chain of command during Cadet Basic Training decided they should familiarize us with Laundry Duties, so we piled a bunch of people into a tiny dorm room, shut the door and tried to get 'er done.
Now I don't know how it would work with an average mix of people, but pretty much everyone at this school is a person oriented towards leadership. An unfortunate side effect of this can be narrow mindedness. It makes for amusement for me though.
After getting yelled at a lot, and after the room had heated up quite a bit due to the large number of people, a lot of people decided they wanted to be heroes and try to take control of the sweaty mob.
By this time everyone knew that the best way to sort the situation out was to be quiet, so about 3/4 of the people in the room stopped talking. The remaining 1/4 of the room started yelling among themselves to be quiet.
One person would say to be quiet.
"Shut Up!!!" Another would interject.
Next came "Guys Seriously!!! Stop Talking!"
And so it went... At that point my room mate and I decided to leave...

One bad Apple

I find it somewhat amusing how quotes can work in more ways than one.

I don't feel like looking up the proper wording or source of the classic quote, but I am sure we can all say we have heard about a bad apple spoiling the whole barrel.

Now maybe you heard it about another kind of fruit, or another quantity. Frankly, I couldn't care less. Then again maybe I could. This really has no relevance whatsoever, so I digress.

I was trawling the depths of Facebook, looking for something to kill time tonight/this morning and I came across a group entitled "I bet I can find 15,000,000 People who Hate George Bush."

Being a person who enjoys a good debate, and knowing I would be able to find one in such a group, I made my way inside.

On the group's wall was a rather odd argument between a couple morons, one saying that Bush is a hero for punishing Saddam for the 9-11 attacks, and the other reveling in the other knucklehead's stupidity.

Between the two of them, I was getting rather irritated by their "writing style" as much as their back-and-forth of stupidity. Some grammatical and rhetorical errors can be expected of anyone, but some things just have no excuse. (i.e. writing I'll instead of ill, and hear for here... silly but irritating)

It was then that the whole "bad apple" quote popped into my head. To put it bluntly, I have nothing against Bush, and I decided to weigh in the conversation. I was even proud of my diplomacy. Ha.

"...i would first like to ask everyone to learn how to spell.seriously. your spellings and grammar are really frustrating to read. proofreading is fun! ha. i digress.
next, i would like to apologize for people ... who mean well but dont have a clue. all people who support Bush aren't like him. i promise."

I even learned something today, or at least found a conviction of mine solidified in that you shouldn't judge people in groups (Damn I feel like a morality book) because if you do you are, as one of the contestants in the pathetic argument put it, "wrongly guided."

The Little Things...

Life, as we all know, can be full of hundreds of little moments that make you smile.
Sometimes you will find that you can't help but enjoy them for a while, and I've gone through a few that I thought were worthy to share.

I'll open with a story. I almost wish I could say I'm opening with a joke.


There are many things I love about pictures.

They can tell stories, evoke emotion and even inspire.

A picture, or rather a series of pictures I saw today simply made me stop in wonderment and awe of the mental capacity of people.

I will spare the trouble it would take to take the pictures, and edit them to protect the morons involved, but I will narrate:

Once upon a time, I was looking through a Facebook album of a friend who will remain unnamed to protect the ignorant, and I came across a set of pictures. The first one is a picture of one of my friend's friends at a party. There is a blurry spot caused by a smudge on the lens of the camera in a relatively inconspicuous part of the photo.

The next picture is a close up of my friend and her friend, and this time the part of the lens with the smudge is over her forehead, and the picture is captioned "there was a ghost in the pic i sweaR."

The picture following had a big blurry spot in the same part of the photo, and it was captioned "see !"

When captioning pictures, she had evidently resigned to the fact of a paranormal presence, and the title of the next photo was innocuous.
A friend of hers, a sleuth of epic proportions, commented "Y is there a blur all over [her]?!!!"
My intellectual friend replies.
"its a ghost! lol im really not sure!"

Sometimes I think that the world will simply implode when these people enter the real world.


Continuing on my picture topic, I have some pictures I took on the way home from Tennessee.

They made me smile, and I hope they will do the same for you.

Yes, that would be a stop sign.

And the sign next to it?

Yup.

A sign with a picture of a stop sign, and an arrow pointing to the stop sign.

I don't think I need to put anything here.

This is the arrangement of signs at a Kentucky rest area.

I didn't even have to jockey around to get a angle to line up the contradictory signs.

I was driving the car, and they both point down the same road.

Life makes me smile.

Logic: Missing in Action

We recently got a television program system thingy (technical term) that allows the user to pause and review what is shown on the screen.
I have enjoyed using this to point out the ambient stupidity exhibited daily.
We all have our fun, I suppose.

I find the ability corporations have to put onto television whatever the hell they want to sell their product somewhat distressing. Sometimes I think it is this kind of thing that leads to the mental wanting of our society as a whole, or maybe it just points it out.

I have but one example in this case. Enjoy.



I apologize for the lack of adequate sound, but the basic plot line of this commercial is the honey bees have honey on their boat to make honey nut cheerios with. The wasps that look like pirates are going to steal the honey. The bees go into an elaborate mini-battle to rescue the honey. The end.

I may be missing something completely, but I really hope that you noticed the fact that they are sailing on a fucking OCEAN OF HONEY.
They are fighting over a couple barrels of honey.
The whole fucking ocean = honey.
I don't think I can voice the asininity of this whole concept.

Anyone else agree? I could be completely wrong here, but I'm fairly to moderately sure that kids should be exposed to things with a little more logic i.e. fire fighters extinguishing a fire with gasoline.

Ambient Stupidity

I would just like to open up with a disclaimer: I make as many stupid mistakes as anyone else, but I very much enjoy the stupidity of others.

I hope you do too.

Example 1:

As hard as you try, the trash guy will not take a part of a tree. Maybe where you used to live.

Not here.

Funny Sighting #2: The Lawn of Tarps!

Thing that made me smile #3:

RIGHT LANE ENDS

...there is no right lane...

Thingy #4

Too bad this one isn't funny....

I was reading a magazine today at my grandpa's house, and found the Time Magazine list of the top 100 influential people in the world.

I know it is done alphabetically, but still... look at this shit...

Yeah. Look closely. Among other things, Miley Cyrus is right next to the Dali Lama.

Does that concern anyone else?

Society sucks.

Proofreading: You're doing it wrong.

So I know everyone makes mistakes... most of us are human... but seriously
If you are a corporate executive or an advertising agent, pay attention here. This is important.

I was at work today and during a lull in the activity at the animal hospital, I read one of the posters we got from a drug company for flea and tick prevention.

There was a chart that explained all of the things that the drug kills, and how its competitors compare.

I took a video. Enjoy.





I'm not sure if you noticed, but after things like fleas, ticks, worms, etc., did you happen to see what was on the list?

FUCKING KITTENS!
I kid you not. Kittens.
Now I am not exactly opposed to this concept, but I am fairly to moderately sure that this is not a desired effect.

I enjoyed that.

And people wonder why...

I'm just gonna open this with: Today was kickass.

By the time everyone was leaving our little gathering, I had a couple people saying how I simply had to rant about the events of the evening.

Far be it from me to consciously disappoint.


The majority of the expected rants come from my exposure to the movie "Euro Trip."

Now don't get me wrong, if you are a horny freshman hanging out with a bunch of other stupid freshmen that have a combined IQ of October, this is most likely one hell of a motion picture.
Seeing as I think I can say without being conceited that I am not legally retarded, I look for a little more in a movie than random sex.

Included in that "little more" are the subtleties of great motion pictures... things like... oh I don't know... a plot? or maybe rational settings? etc.

Don't get me wrong, I like boobs as much as the next guy. Hell, I probably like boobs more than the next guy. But when most of the scenes are revolving around boobs, I'm missing out on the entertainment factor of the movie.

My favorite part about it all is the average retarded citizens commentary on... well life in general.
You'll find it applies nicely.

Lets to a hypothetical Q&A session to explain my point...

Kohne: What did you think about the movie Euro Trip?
Bonehead: Dude, it was fucking amazing, man!
Kohne: What were your favorite parts?
Bonehead: The boobs.
Kohne: No, knucklehead, your favorite part of the movie.
Bonehead: The parts with boobs.
Kohne: I see. Now do you think that this sends a bad message to teens?
Bonehead: Nahhh, its just a movie!
Kohne: Ok, so what are your thoughts in general?
Bonehead: [Horny Ranting]
Kohne: Thanks. I needed to hear that.

Now even though that may be hypothetical I think you can follow the logic.

Do I need to explain how that sort of stuff leads to the moral degeneration that people bitch about all the time?
Seriously.
I love those great movies from back in the day... A guy would have this epic quest over the course of movie hours to simply see a girl one last time, and now the movies main focus is the hero's movie-hour-long quest to get laid. A lot.

The problem with this topic is that when ranting about this topic you inherently sound like a fucking Quaker. Lord knows I love granola bars, but I don't enjoy being tied to their thoughts on social structure. Thats my next thought.

On the opposite end of the bonehead who watches the movie like a hawk, is the knucklehead who watches the movie like a hawk. A really pissed off hawk.

For once in the course of analogies, I'm not the pissed off one.
This time it is the one who has no toleration for other ways of thinking. At all.
Instead of ranting about it constructively, or at least attempting to be constructive, all you hear is "OH NO! THE PORNO!"
You may also find these are the types who won't let you forget about it.
Oh well. Shit happens.

Not a great rant, maybe I'll touch it up later.

Violence inherent in the system!

I was watching the news this evening, and before a story was over, I had logged into Blogger, because I knew this story was going to piss me off.

In New York, New York there are a bunch of people mad because a guy was shot by police detectives, and the detectives were acquitted.

As always happens when a controversial case is decided upon, there were pissed off people loyal to the ruled-against-party.

A random clip showed an agitated civilian yelling. I quote:
"If I shot 50 times at a police car, would I be guilty?"

Yes you would, you moron.

The next bit of information was a repeated phrase that it was to be the victim's wedding day the next day.

Maybe in the news that makes a difference, but someone who commits a crime on his wedding day, on his birthday, or on Earth day is just as guilty as he would be on any other day.

Moving on.

The officers evidently saw a fight break out, and were convinced the sparring personnel were armed, and opened fire.

I believe there were three officers.

Now if these guys had the time to fire 50 rounds, wouldn't you think something was going on meriting such a expansive expenditure of ammunition?

Then the news reporter said the officers believed that they were being run at with a vehicle.

Now if somebody is shooting at you , can you think of a situation, a logical situation, where you would convey the idea that you are going to sun over someone, without intending to run over someone all while under small arms fire?

Now I'm not a doctor in any way, but then again, as Miguel says, this isn't rocket surgery.

[Dr. Emmet Exits]

So I'm told that we in the St. Pius X senior class of 2008 have 12 school days left, and we're gone.
To be perfectly honest, this scares me. A lot.

You may have realized by now that this isn't a pissed off rant, and if you would like to complain, please press "Screw you."

If you were trying to complain and realized that there is no "Screw you" button, I congratulate your perseverance, and encourage you to take the hint that you should be going away now.

This is one of those turning points in our lives, where there isn't a "next semester at Pius" and in a few days, I'm afraid that Mr. McCreary's contributions to the Book of Quotations will stem to a trickle.

That book has been a commentary on the unknowing way we blaze on towards life.

I sat in Physics class today, studiously adding to the book while disregarding anything Physics related, and I saw a large number of empty pages.
I thought to myself, we'll have time to fill that by graduation.

We're gone by next month.

Holy balls.

Irony: My fave

As I walked into Digital Media class this morning, I checked my e mail as I usually do, and then checked Miguel's blog or "blag" as he prefers. I digress.

I realized that I hadn't ranted for a while... I just needed a topic.

After considerable thinking, and some nice suggestions from classmates, I found my way to the old standby or irony.

One of my favorite examples of irony was in an unexpected venue: the silver screen.

I forget what show I was going to see, but in the previews there was your standard "the world is falling apart, and it's your fault" commercial.

It took a while, but I've learned to live with those commercials being thrown in from all directions, but this one just made me smile.
They went for the dramatic angle, flashing words like HEAT WAVES (I was watching this at the ass end of the coldest winter we've experienced in years.
DROUGHTS ( We've had flooding for a lonnnng time. I'm fairly sure that we've actually had weeks of pretty much solid rain.)

My favorite part was how the commercial neglected to mention the abnormal flooding and freezing thats been going on.

I suppose that doesn't fit to well with global warming.

Isn't Mother Nature a jerk?

Back in my day...

Who doesn't love to hate those rants about how things in some one's childhood were so different than the equivalent period of someone else?

Get ready to hate me for that.

Over the weekend, my little sister and her Girl Scout troop went on a cam pout. I was asked, along with my dad, to help with the fire building, the outdoorsy cooking, protecting the little kids from the monsters in the woods and things of that nature.

Being an Eagle scout and someone who loves being in the woods, I jumped at the opportunity to go camping and fulfill some of Miguel's ideas about manliness... looking forward to wrestling bears and being boorish.

I guess I'm just that naive.

When I arrived I found the Girl Scouts primarily dressed in winter clothing my dad had brought, and the leaders were all bundled up like a misplaced Eskimo.
Wearing jeans, a light sweatshirt and a cowboy hat, I looked on and smiled, but that didn't last long.

The general lack of common sense was permissible, ya know, these kids are in 4th grade, they can learn, but the thing that got me was their disdain of helping people out.

The justification can be found in one simple interchange the Sunday morning that we were breaking camp.


I was working in the wintry mix taking down tents with my dad, wondering where the hell all the little kids are.

After we rolled up one tent, I took it to the truck, and found all the kids sitting at picnic tables. That's cool I guess.

I asked them if they were going to help take down the tents.

They stood there.

I asked again.

A little girl smiled at me.

I asked once more.

Still smiling, she said "Probably not, we're just standing here."

At that I walked away and ranted to myself for a while.
Holllllly crap.

Little moments like that

Today was so chuck full of moments that made me smile, I was compelled to write something dedicated to this fine day.

McDonalds. A nice place.
We went on a apple pie run, and I was reminded of a time when I wanted pie a while back.
It was a cold, rainy night, a Wednesday I think...
I wanted pie, but I wasn't too hungry, so I decided I would have just one pie.
I pulled into the drivethru and asked for a pie.
"Do you want two for a dollar?"
"No thanks" I replied "I only want one"
I had assumed that if I was only getting one pie, and two cost a dollar, that one might cost about 60 cents or so.
Nope.
A freaking dollar.
Aren't I retarded.

I told that story at the McDonalds today, and I was thirsty, and didn't get a drink with my pies. (Bad Call)
I got back with my Hugo drink ranting about how on the dollar menu there is a small soda, and I just got a huge drink for a little less.
The sad thing is that people actually go for that.

Continuing on people who are kind of silly... Take a look at this!

That sign in between the cars?
It reads:
"No parking, Fire Lane"

Well at least the morons had enough in their craniums to not park in front of the sign...
I drove by, and I was compelled to take that picture because irony is just my favorite...


Next we move on to the reason I was in the crowded lot in the first place.

My elementary school's spring concert. Oh yeah.

If you couldn't tell, I was less than enthused to be there, but I went because I'm a good brother. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Unfortunately, I arrived late, about halfway through the show. Depressed as I was, I continue.

As I walked in there was a 6th grader dressed as Elvis. Wow.

Next came the 7th grade.

7th graders singing just makes me smile because, honestly, none of the classes sounded any good, but at least the kindergartners are cute.
7th graders are neither good, nor cute.

I think there were four guys, 4 that is, and about a dozen girls.
What the girls lacked in skill, the guys made up for in growling.

8th grade was by far my favorite performance.
The characters were great.

First you hear Girl-Who-Can-Actually-Sing drowning out everyone, which makes her sound like a prick.

Then you notice 8th-Grader-Who-Has-More-Facial-Hair-Than-Abe-Lincoln-(In-1863-You-Technicality-Pointing-Out-Jerk) who looks like that guy in planet of the apes.
I know that was a low blow, but it was funny as hell.

Then I realized that they decided to have a couple students play instruments during the show. They sang the finale song from Greece the musical, and well... it was bad.
The worst part was all of the guys, and the awkward girls just stood in the back mumbling while Girl-Who-Can-Actually-Sing is singing her heart out, dancing around with all the girls who think they can dance.

Then you realize it is indeed not hailing antelope, and that that awkward, irregular banging noise is actually Kid-Who-Has-No-Sense-Of-Rhythm-But-Plays-Drums (yes I know that that is difficult to distinguish apart from regular drummers, but he was worse [Burn to drummers])

Then he took a cowbell solo.

I almost cried.

Youtube

Ok, so I will be the first one to admit that I am truly horrible at typing. I probably average about eight words a minute, and about nine of those are spelled wrong, but I've found that what I publish tends to be somewhat coherent.

You tube is a fun place, and I spend lots of time enjoying the assorted videos on the site. However, I have noticed a number of types of annoying people who also seem to frequent the site.

Knucklehead Type 1: The Video Ninja

Oh the video ninja. On more than one occasion I have been trawling the depths of You tube, and found what seems to be a legit video of Family Guy clips, or a good explosion only to try to watch it and find that it is actually an add for the French Foreign Legion.
Freaking France.

Knucklehead Type 2: The I-am-Better-Than-all-of-you Bonehead

For a great conversation, I would love to suggest the The I-am-Better-Than-all-of-you Bonehead. The I-am-Better-Than-all-of-you Bonehead is very sure that every single word he utters, types, or thinks is as precious as the light in Trenton's eyes after a good burn.
If you couldn't take from context the fact that the I-am-Better-Than-all-of-you Bonehead is usually wrong, I am going to have to ask you to step outside.
And stay there.

Knucklehead Type 3: The I-Have-The-Writing-Skills-Of-A-Keyboard-Falling-Down-A-Flight-Of-Stairs Twerp

I can understand typos, they happen just like car crashes and France, but now for something less redundant.
These guys type comments and messages as if they are writing in sharpie on the wall, and they haven't quite figured out how to scratch something out.
Now don't confuse these examples of literary beauty with Type Number 5.

Knucklehead Type 4: The I-Think-This-Statement-Makes-Sense-But-Really-I-Sound-Like-A-Prick Moron

Don't you just love when someone gets really fired up about something, and they don't realize in their fervor that they are not spitting out any coherent thoughts?

Knucklehead Type 5: The I-Send-Messages-On-The-Internet-Like-I-Do-On-World-Of-Warcraft Bonehead

So you play World of Warcraft, and have no life other than that sweet avatar you made last week. That's cool. Whatever.
But when people who don't speak "bonehead" are around, could you please speak something us humans can understand?
pwned! or however the heck you say that...
Seriously.. What the heck..?


Now that we have out knuckleheads sorted out, lets have some fun.

I found a rather interesting video about the US Army.
(Pause for hippies to leave)

Its a pretty good video, to the song "Won't Back Down" by Johnny Cash

I enjoy the random commentary going down from the video. Everybody is weighing in, from your ultra-militants to your anti-war liberals. Its actually fun reading.

My first rant is to the token Canadian in the commentary, who is basically like "Yay USA, eh! You kill terrorists"
Made me laugh.

Enter the types:
Type 4 is going on about how it indeed wasn't Spain that gave us tea, but the British. I'll assume they gave us tea in Boston Harbor? Must be a scholar.

A short while later, in response to something about "true Americans" we have another Type 4, with a nice touch of 2 saying that "the only true Americans are native Americans, so I guess that counts you out bozo"
...I may be mistaken, but I am fairly sure that they started in Asia...
Do I need to elaborate?

About here is where it turns into a mess...

And I quote...
"no need to wonder that coz if it wasnt for these time wasters we wouldnt have 1 enemy."
This was a completely random statement.
What the heck is he talking about?

Another fun thing to do: Read what the militants have to say...
"Opressors????? The only compliment I got for you is my boot 8 inches up your ass... I'll show you oppressed."
Not quite eloquent, but funny...

And finally I'll comment about someone who, I speculate, is an English teacher I've had in the past...
Evidently, the song "I Won't Back Down" isn't about stalwartness and enduring hardship, but is an anthem of the oppressed!

After learning about that, I am fairly sure the maker of the video felt really silly for assuming that "I won't back down" could ever be construed as... uh... not backing down?

Lets see who's the first to complain...

Lets just start off with the usual crap about how I am completely supportive of the fact that gay people are indeed people yadda yadda yadda, but I think we can all understand that no matter how much of people they are, they can still make awkward situations even more so...

So here we have Anatomy/Physiology class, honors. Great. Period 6 is a class wherein none of my really close friends are, so I sit with some kinda cool people from the school play. My neighbor happens to be queer as a three dollar bill. Fantastic.

The subject of the day?

The male reproductive system. Balls.

You know, after going through the educational system for all these years, I've learned to cope with the fact that my teacher is talking about orgasms. I even managed to pay attention for the vast majority of the lesson on semen.
The one freaking element I was not ready for is my lab partner closely examining a male reproductive system model.

I've noticed it's experiences like this class that make me feel a lot better about the rest of my life.

You want an example? OK!

Our illustrious teacher fancies herself to be quite the athlete. Sure.
She walked a marathon over the weekend, and you know, that is great for people recovering from diseases, or losing weight but when you are a average civilian, no physical problems, shut the heck up.
My favorite part was listening to how "walking 13.1 miles is harder than running it because you are on your feet longer."
Are you freaking serious?

Here is where I go on my rant about how back in my day in New Mexico we walked 13 miles with 60 pounds on our back in the mountains of freaking New Mexico. And ya know what? I think that was easier than a running race would have been of the same duration!

And that my friend, or enemy, or whoever the heck is reading this... Is anyone reading this? Is there anyone else in this God-forsaken universe? Well I think that is a rant for another time...
That is the problem with fucking hippies. Get over yourself and realize theirs better things to freaking do than whine about how hard your life is. It happens. Forrest Gump knew that, so how about you learn from the bonehead who has an IQ of parrot.

Cellphones!

So just ask, and anyone will tell you that driving with cell phones (or on them) is excessively dangerous. Awesome.
But I think my favorite effect of making talking while driving a bad thing is the average boneheads solution to the problem.
Average boneheads ( I see them on the road all the time! It's great!) seem to acknowledge the fact holding a phone to your ear is bad when driving, but it appears they don't comprehend the freaking reason. You wouldn't believe how many people have made it safer by not holding a phone to their ear by, this just gets me, putting the phone on speakerphone... and freaking holding it in front of them!!!
OK... so I may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but I'm fairly sure they still have one hand on the wheel! Morons!
But at least their ear isn't blocked! It's only in front of their freaking EYES!
Honestly... I'm fairly sure Darwin's plans are working through driving habits...

The 4th Dimension

Once upon a time I was bored at home. I believe it was a Sunday actually... Easter Sunday.
I digress.
I decided i would watch the science channel, ya know, maybe learn something. So I start to watch, and these guys start talkin about dimensions, you know, the 1st, the 2nd, the 3rd... and I figure "I can roll with that, yo." (I was feeling rather hip at the time)
Then knucklehead scientist #1, said something to the effect of '...and we decided to name time the 4th dimension...'
I stopped there in befuddlement... decided to call it... whatever.
Next the scientists on TV used their calling time the 4th dimension to justify all sorts of things.
Next they decide, 'hey, since you can move along the other dimensions, we can move along time!' and justified a long discussion about fucking time travel just because they CALLED TIME A DIMENSION! Their sole justification! Gah!
Thats enough ranting for now.

Windshield Wipers

You know what will scare the living daylights out of you?
Try driving without freaking windshieldwipers... In the middle of a storm...
Ok seriously, don't do that.
...Unless you're one of those morons who realli piss me off (i.e. hippies who think they make sense) then by all means, take a knife to your vehicular window clearing devices.

Rant Numero One: Movie Theatres

I consider myself to be just about an average person, you know, not a city slicker, not a redneck. Once upon a time, my friends and I ventured to a movie theatre in St. Louis County... and to think I thought people were strange where I lived...
I went to the ticket counter, and naturally the moron taking money wasn't paying a lick of attention, so I waited to be aknowledged. She seemed frustrated I was there. Sorry for asking you to do your job... I tell her what movie I want to see, and she says "That will be $100"
Seriously. You're not funny. Shut the fuck up.
We walk inside, and there are what look like 6 year olds everywhere. Thats cool I guess. Then I heard one speak. Holy crap.
The police asked a few of them to leave.
I wanted to shake that officer's hand, but alas, it was time for the movie.